Hey, Kevin Bates here. Here's another great article by Mort Fortel. Check it out...

Heal Your Marriage

Heal from old wounds in your marriage

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Get yourself a glass of water. Really! Don't just read on; first get a glass of water.

Got it?

Okay. Now, hold the glass of water in your hand and pick it up.

Are you holding it up?

Now let me ask you this: How heavy is the glass of water?

What do you guess it weighs? 1 pound? 2 pounds? Less than a pound?

Keep holding the glass up. Don't put it down yet.

What do you think it weighs?

As you continue to hold the glass of water, you'll notice that its real weight doesn't matter as much as how long you hold it. The longer you hold the glass of water, the heavier it feels, right?

If you hold the glass of water for minute, it's not a problem. It's not heavy.

But if you hold the glass of water for an hour, your arm might start to ache. Eventually the glass of water will feel like a ton of bricks.

The weight of the glass of water is always the same. But the longer you hold it up, the heavier it gets.

That's the way it works in your marriage too. Things are bound to happen between you and your spouse that will weigh heavy on you and your spouse's heart. But the longer you "hold them in," the heavier the burdens gets.

I can't tell you how many times I'll discover in private sessions that the source of someone's anger or bitterness is something that happened 15 YEARS AGO!

"Did you ever discuss what happened with your spouse," I'll ask.

"No."

In an effort to make sure I understand I'll ask, "You never talked it through? You never processed with your spouse at all?"

"No."

Rhetorically I'll ask, "This has been building up inside you for 15 YEARS and you never said anything?!"

"That's right," is the response.

Do you hear that? It happened 15 YEARS AGO! And it still plagues them TODAY. In fact, as I illustrated above, the burden gets worse not better.

But do you know what always amazes me? The burden gets worse for the person who's holding it in. But their spouse forgot about the incident 15 years ago. They're clueless that the pain even exists. They would be SHOCKED to learn that their spouse still remembers what happened no less that it pains them and remains in their heart.

Do you know what's bothering your spouse? Do you know the root of their frustration? Do you know what they just can't let go of? And most importantly, do you know how to draw it out and how to help them finally heal? This is one of the many topics I'll cover in the upcoming Marriage Fitness Tele-Boot Camp.

Most people have something that continues to bother them, something that happened years ago that they never let go of, something that they never "moved through" with their spouse. And there it sits; getting heavier and heavier as the years go by. Until finally it comes out as, "I'm not happy" or "I want a divorce" or "I don't love you anymore."

Old wounds that don't get treated aren't really old; they remain fresh. They're still open sores that eat away at your marriage from the inside without you even knowing it. How do you stop the bleeding? How do you finally let bygones by bygones and move on in your relationship in a healthy productive way?

That's one of the things I'll work with you on in the Marriage Fitness Tele-Boot Camp. You don't have to go anywhere it's a TELE experience and all you need is a telephone. For details or to register, Click Here

If your spouse won't join you, then sign-up for the Lone Ranger Track, which is designed to help people in marriages with obstinate spouses. You'll learn to single-handedly improve your situation, and, most importantly, motivate your spouse to join you in the process of renewing your marriage.

If you and your spouse want to do the program together, then register for the Duo Track.

For more info about these tracks or to register, Click Here

The Marriage Fitness Tele-Boot Camp is a 7-week multi-sensory comprehensive marriage-transforming experience. The fee is the same whether you register with your spouse (Duo Track) or without (Lone Ranger Track). To register or for more info, Click Here

If you can't wait until the next boot camp begins, then you want MARRIAGE FITNESS HOME-FLEX. A 9-Phase interactive multi-sensory relationship-changing self-guided system that gives you everything you need to transform your marriage. And you get it all TOMORROW! For more information or to order, Click Here

If you'd like to "meet" with me in a 1-on-1 session, you can schedule a PHONE session or a full-day "house call." For more info and fees, Click Here

At the very least, if you're serious about renewing your marriage, you've got to listen to the Audio Learning Program of Marriage Fitness. This is what thousands of people and couples worldwide are using as an "audio handbook" to restore their marriage. To order, Click Here

Let me know if you have any questions. I'll do whatever I can to help you. And if I can't, I'll refer you to another marriage counselor. I  wish you the best.

Warm regards,

Mort Fertel, Author & Founder of Marriage Fitness

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